Thursday, January 27, 2011

Violated.

Hello and welcome to a New Year. I know the first month is almost over, and I'm quite late, but I thought I had better start off by wishing you a Happy New Year. Now all of the formalities are over I can start the story of my latest violation...

Last Sunday afternoon, Miss Self Sabotage and I went to a quirky Artist's market in North Melbourne. We had a great time. I bought two new - antique, but new to me - shiny brooches, met up with Miss Self Sabotage's good friend and very talented clothing designer and ate a honey joy. We were tired and exhausted from wandering around the stuffy indoor market so we decided to head back home and grab a bite to eat. We were almost at our favourite breaky spot when my phone rang. It was Gigi, and she was crying her eyes out. For a second, I thought her dog had got loose and been run over. Luckily, Ollie was safe. But not so luckily, Gigi told me that our house had just been robbed! I immediately went into panic mode. I got goose pimples, my skin went pale and a began to shake.

I asked Miss Self Sabotage to take me home as fast as her car allowed. My luck got even better when we got stuck behind some fucking moron travelling 45-50km/h in a 60 zone. I lost my temper, punched the dashboard of Miss Self Sabotage's beautiful car and screamed abuse to the driver of the car in front of us via my passenger side window. I'm really sure he heard me too!

We finally made it back to my house. I went in to survey the damage and to assess what had been stolen. I got to my bedroom door and I nearly cried. The desperado, junkie thief had kicked in my bedroom door to gain access to my Aladdin's cave of treasure. My bedroom door is now hanging on by only one hinge and has a giant crack down the middle of it. Now it doesn't fit back in the opening so, I have to prop something up against it at night to keep it closed. I was relieved to still see my TV, DVD player and massive DVD collection intact. I moved around to the side of my bed. FUCK! A huge sense of grief and anger rushed throughout my whole body as I glared at the empty spot between my side table and bed where I keep my laptop.

Gone. It was gone. I also noticed that my phone charger was missing, along with the USB cable for my digital camera and half a bottle of perfume. I was really pissed the fuck off. I was just thinking two days before my life and bedroom got violated that I should really buy one of those external hard drive thingamajigs. I wish I had of now. The day my laptop was stolen, I also lost the last 10 years of my life in digital photos. I was devastated. I began feeling numb. I still am. If only I had saved them to a disc. Something. Hindsight is a mother fucker!

When the insurance money comes through, I shall buy myself a new laptop plus an external hard drive. Getting robbed is fucked. I hope it never happens to anyone. So children, what was the moral to today's tale? Yep, that's right. Always back up your memories and keep them in a safe place. That way, you never have to feel the way I'm feeling right now. Memoryless :(

Fin.