Wrong Number Sexting...

We all know what sexting is right? If you don't, I'll quickly give you the low down. It's where two people send each other naughty texts. Which can be fun to liven up a boring day or help get your mojo flowing. It usually occurs between two people that already know each other, and more than likely have already had some sort of sexual contact. Not so much in my case.

On the Monday after my short lived, one pint trip to Cookie I was a working hard, or hardly working when my phone beeped with a text. It was from a random number and it said, "You have the cutest bum! xo". It made me giggle. My ass is not cute. It's big and wobbly. I ignored the text. A few moments later, another text came through, " Don't be shy, remember Saturday..." I did remember Saturday. I went out for a bit, I hung out with my girlfriends and I was at home in bed before midnight. I had not spoken to any boys, nor had I given anyone my number! I politely replied with, " I think you have the wrong number mate. I don't have a cute ass!" Less than a minute later my mystery man had replied saying unless it was a small bum, it must be cute. He had my attention. My ears always prick up when I find a guy that likes fat chicks.

We began texting back and forth, to work out who was on the other side of these texts. It turns out he thought my number was a number from a girl he had met at a party over the weekend. The weird thing is, he was at a party not far from my house! Small world! It turns out he is 28, a truck driver, lives in Pascoe Vale and is 6'4". Hold the phone! How tall?! I love tall blokes. I don't know what it about boys with loft, but they just make me weak at the knees. I told him he was a whopper and that's when the sexting began. He replied to me and told me that he was "tall all over ;)". I'd be the judge of that!

As he was at work like I was, he asked for my email address so he could send me a picture of himself. I obliged and told him that I'd send him a few of me too. He asked if I'd like his pics to be clothed or unclothed. I thought I'd be a bit mysterious and told him to surprise me. The sexting died off as my workload increased and I kind of just forgot about my mystery sexter. I finished my shift, drove home, had something to eat and before I knew it, he was texting me again! Easy tiger!

He wanted to know if I had checked my emails. Dude, I had just spent the last ten hours tethered to a headset, connected to a phone talking to whiny customers and dealing with their problems. I like to chill before firing up my laptop when I get home. When I was ready, I fired the laptop up. I opened my emails. There in front of me were four emails from my mystery sexter. Each of them had attachments. I opened up the first. all I saw was a skinny man wearing what he was born in. All of his pics were the same. I don't know why he sent so many pics of basically the same thing. Around twenty pictures of a man from the chin to mid thigh. Get some creativity son!

I replied to his many emails with one email containing a selection of my best pics. I think there were four or five of them. Each one different, never two the same. I like things that way. The same old, same old bores me. And why would anybody want twenty pictures of exactly the same thing? He loved my photos and now he wants to meet me. I don't want to meet him. He's very skinny. I've seen whippets with more meat on them. I like my men with a bit of something to hang onto. Skinny boys just don't so it for me. Plain and simple.

It's been easy avoiding the "When are we going to meet up?" questions. As I work all weekends, he woks all weekdays, it's hard to get a time and day that suits us both. I've already tried to put meeting him in the too hard basket, and I've even gently suggested that I don't really want to met him, but he's like a dog with a bone. He texts me every couple of days. I need to let him know I'm not interested. It's cruel to let him believe that I want to get to know him. Off to the drawing board I guess.