Friday, April 29, 2011

You're my kryptonite.

Why is it that after you seem to disappear of the face of the Earth you contact me and I'm hooked straight away?

After almost four weeks of not hearing from you and deciding to delete your number out of my phone - again for the millionth time - Why do I get a text replying to my question from the previous day?

I get nothing for the next couple of days. When all of a sudden... Boom! There you are striking up a conversation on the instant messenger.

You're obviously a little tipsy, or more. And a touch toey too perhaps. You see me online and strike up a conversation.

An hour later you're in my bed. We do what's needed to be done and then as quickly as you arrived, you're gone again.

You are my secret addiction.

You are crack and I'm your whore.

You are my Kryptonite.

Fin.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Oh the things I have seen...

So, I lost my job. Again. I had an interview in the city yesterday afternoon. Not knowing what the parking situation at where I needed to be, I decided to catch a train. I don't usually do Public Transport. I hate it. Dirty trains. Late trains. Strange people. Definitely not my cup of tea.

I caught the train from Newport station. I paid the required $3.80 for my daily concession ticket and made my way to the platform. I took a seat on a hard cold bench and waited. My train was due to arrive at 1252. It came at 1258. Only 6 minutes late, but late none the less. On board I saw some very strange, weird and interesting things, as well as some things that just plain annoyed me.

1) I saw a lady that looked like a poodle. She was sporting shoulder length, tight blonde curls and had a long pointy, upturned nose. Weird.

2) Directly in front of me sat an Indian lady in her late 20's. She was talking on her phone for the whole journey. That's fine. I'm on my phone quite a lot too. But she was pretty much shouting at the person on the other end. It wasn't angry shouting, just regular talking - with volume! Annoying.

3) It's school holidays - Hooray! Not. There were a 'gang' of rowdy teens wearing skinny jeans so tight that they could not pull them up to their waists. They had their rumps hanging out, exposing their brightly colored undies. Perhaps that is the cool thing to do these days. Since when do teenage boys wear pink undies? Strange.

4) The same teens thought it was a great idea to skateboard up and down the aisle of the carriage. Annoying.

5) Arrival at 'Footscrazy' station. Enter the junkies. Listening to a presumed stolen iPod at ridiculously loud levels, pushing a presumably stolen bike. Why did you choose to sit next to me? Talking loudly over your iPod to your skanky crack-whore girlfriend. My grip on my handbag tightened. As dd the grip on my brolly for protection - should I need it. Annoying.

6) I had the power at Southern Cross station. I deliberately stood and waited at the door on the wrong side of the carriage, just to see how many people disembarking at the same station were sheep. There were 5. Interesting.

7) I was hungry once I got out of the station so I began to hunt down some lunch. I found a little Japanese place in a food court. I ate the most delicious okonomiyaki I've ever had. Awesome.

8) In the same food court, was a boy aged around 12 with his Grandma. He was eating pizza. Signs plastered all over the food court read as "DO NOT FEED THE BIRDS." He ignored these, and ripped up the entire base of his pizza and threw it on the floor for the birds. Annoying.

9) As usual, I was early for my appointment. Forty minutes in fact. What could I do to waste some time? I found a bench and took a seat. I lit up a cigarette to calm my ever increasing nerves for the pending interview. A drunk traditional land owner took a seat next to me. After a few minutes of awkward silence he asked me for a cigarette. Harshly, I told him to dance for it. He did. He busted out some of the best break dancing moves I've ever seen. I rewarded him with 3 cigarettes. Strange.

Oh the things I have seen on one little journey to the city. On the journey home I sat in the back corner of the carriage with a copy of the MX pinned to my face. I don't think I could handle any more people watching for today.

End.